Sex: You’re doing it wrong
- Sex is not “trying to score”
- Sex is not about getting numbers in
- There is no fucking quota you have to meet.
- Sexual partners are partners, not statistics
- Sex is not a revenge tool
- Sex is not a weapon.
And if someone doesn’t want it, you’re raping them.
- Reluctance is not wanting it.
- “Putting up with it” is not wanting it.
- Drunk and nonfunctional is not wanting it.
- Unconscious is not wanting it.
- Wearing certain clothing is not wanting it.
- Bugging someone until they say yes out of exasperation is not wanting it
- Being afraid of you is not wanting it.
- Hugging you is not wanting it
- Cuddling you is not wanting it
- Being naked near you is not wanting it
- Having lots of sexual partners is not wanting it
- Needing to stop during it is not wanting it.
- Calling out the safe word is not wanting it.
- Crying is not wanting it
- Struggling away is not wanting it
- Going limp and unresponsive is not wanting it.
What genderbitch said
Re: crying, safe words, needing to stop, going limp - these are good points to actually check in with your partner. However, as someone who has had a lot of sexual difficulty post-rape, including doing all of those things during sex, while actually WANTING it, it’s also just plain important to KNOW your partner. Nonetheless - checking in with your partner is important, too. Use your words, folks.
(via jadedhippy)
